I’ve had my fair share of breakups over the last decade.
I’ve ended relationships with women I once planned to marry. I’ve had partners abandon me in favor of other men. I’ve left otherwise healthy relationships because they were “good” and I thought I deserved “great.”
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When I reflect on some of my breakups, I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed. When I consider others, I question why I did not end the relationship sooner.
And after going through the romantic ringer, I’ve realized that the biggest (relationship) problem that men face today is that they don’t know how to filter out bad matches and enter into relationships with women who would be a good fit for them. They have no idea when it’s time to break up, so they stay in bad relationships for years.
In this article, I’ll reveal the top signs you should end your relationship with her so you can stop wasting your time and mental health and make room for a relationship you’d say “hell yeah” to.
Looking back, I realize that every time I suffered unnecessarily (and thus made my partner suffer) through months or years of a bad relationship…
…It was because I ignored one or more of these warning signs.
This article is not meant to be taken literally. I can’t tell you what’s best for you and your relationship. I don’t know the specifics of your romantic life, but even if you see all 11 of these signs in your relationship, it may still be worth saving.
All I can do is share my own experience and that of the hundreds of men I’ve coached over the years.
These signs do not constitute commandments. Simply suggestions to help you navigate the difficult journey of determining whether or not the relationship is over.
Let’s get started.
1. You Aren’t Happy With Your Girlfriend signs you should break up with her photo
The first and most obvious sign that you should end your relationship with your girlfriend is simple.
You’re unhappy in your relationship.
I know this seems obvious and almost self-evident, but I’ve seen countless men stay in toxic relationships for years (or even decades) because they were unwilling to face the facts of their relationship.
When there are no specific issues in your relationship…
…When there is no obvious abuse, manipulation, infidelity, or disrespect, it can be tempting to stay in a toxic relationship that isn’t serving you because it’s “not that bad.”
It’s easy to deceive yourself and believe that it’s “just a phase” or that “I’ll be happy as soon as…”
But you and I both know that “as soon as” never comes.
Even the healthiest of couples fight and argue from time to time. It’s normal for one or both of you to be struggling, emotionally drained, and unable to fully show up in the relationship as the person they need to be.
These couples, however, still enjoy spending time together. There are times when I am unhappy. However, the overall tone of the relationship remains one of happiness, love, and contentment.
So, if you’re asking yourself, “Is it really over?” The first step is to examine your emotional state objectively.
Are you more often than not happy in your relationship?
If the answer is “no,” you don’t need any other reasons to end the relationship.
Your emotional and mental health, as well as your overall well-being, should always come first.
And there’s nothing wrong with ditching your girlfriend for the sake of your happiness. You do not owe another human love or commitment simply because they love and commit to you. If you know you aren’t happy in your current relationship (and haven’t been for a while), ask yourself the following two questions:
Is my dissatisfaction due to my partner or to the way I present myself in my relationship?
Is my dissatisfaction something that could be remedied by a specific behavioral change? (e.g. if she supports you more, stops abusing substances, exercises more, has sex with you more frequently, etc.)
By answering these two questions, you’ll gain a better understanding of the root causes of your unhappiness and, more importantly, whether ending the relationship is the best solution.
2. You’ve been having doubts about your relationship for a long time. What are the signs that you should end it?
Every couple has moments of doubt. Simply put, this is how the human brain is wired.
It’s natural to wonder, “What are the signs you should break up?” no matter how intimate your relationship is or how mind-blowing the sex is. Should I end my relationship with my girlfriend?”
This question will quickly be answered in a healthy relationship as her small acts of love, kindness, and compassion remind you of why you fell in love with her in the first place.
However, if you’re constantly asking yourself, “Should we break up?” It’s a clear indication that something is wrong if it persists for months or even years.
It is critical to recognize that you do not experience various emotions haphazardly, such as doubt, guilt, fear, or depression.
There’s a reason you’re doubting your relationship and searching for “Signs you should break up with her.”
It could be a sign that you aren’t getting your needs met and need to do a better job of communicating them to your partner in some cases. It could also be an indication that you have stopped investing in the relationship and need to start acting like a better husband or boyfriend.
However, living in ambiguity for an extended period of time is a dangerous state to be in.
It can quickly lead to emotional exhaustion, fatigue, malaise, and depression. It can ruin your relationship and destroy you as a man if not dealt with quickly and effectively.
If you are currently having doubts, it is critical that you discuss them with your partner, no matter how difficult it may be. Make your concerns known, as well as your dissatisfaction and confusion.
The only way to resolve ambiguity is to be completely honest.
What matters most is that you speak your truth and work from there, even if that means ending your relationship.
3. You are unable to meet your needs (despite numerous attempts).
When, despite your best efforts, you are unable to meet important needs within your relationship, this is one of the most definitive patterns that will help you determine when to break up with your girlfriend.
It is important to note that this is only one of the signs that you should end your relationship with your girlfriend if you have actively attempted to meet your needs through direct communication.
This is not one of the reasons to break up if you have been sitting on the sidelines and remaining silent about your needs (or worse, using passive-aggressive communication).
It’s a sign that you need to be a more grounded man and express clearly what you need from your partner and why it’s important to you. Even if expressing those needs makes you feel uncomfortable.
However, if you’ve been voicing your needs—whether sexual, emotional, or financial—for months with no improvement, this is one of the clear signs you should end the relationship.
All healthy relationships are founded on mutual benefit. And each person has unique needs within their relationship.
It’s regular and exciting sex for some. Others require emotional support and encouragement. Others seek an intellectually compatible partner who can challenge their ideas and stimulate their minds.
