Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has spoken up for the first time about the grief she felt as a result of her husband David’s alleged romance with his then-personal assistant, Rebecca Loos.
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Almost 20 years after it was reported that he and Loos became close while he was playing for Real Madrid in Spain, Mrs Beckham confessed that the months following were the “hardest” of her life and that she no longer felt like the pair “had each other.”
Beckham revealed that he still doesn’t know how they got through the 2003 crisis, but he and his wife understood they had to ‘fight for their family,’ and that they felt like they were ‘drowning’ when their high-profile marriage was in the news for the wrong reasons.
The revelation was made in Beckham, a four-part Netflix documentary that follows him from his infancy to his current job as co-owner of US club Inter Miami.
Beckham, 48, stunned the globe when the News Of The globe daily exposed his alleged relationship with Loos. Mrs Beckham had elected to stay in the UK at the time so that her two young sons, Brooklyn and Romeo, may continue their education. Beckham acknowledges that the decision left him feeling lonely.
In the fourth and last episode, Victoria Beckham, 49, looked to fight back tears when asked if this was the most difficult time in their marriage. ‘100 percent,’ she admitted. ‘It was the most difficult time for us. Because it felt like the entire universe was conspiring against us.
‘Here’s the thing: if I’m being absolutely honest, we were at odds. Up until Madrid, it felt like we were up against everyone else, but we were together, connected, and had each other. But it didn’t feel like we had each other when we were in Spain. That’s unfortunate. I can’t tell you how difficult that was. And how it made me feel.’
David said: ‘When I first moved to Spain it was difficult because I had been part of a club and a family for my whole career, from the age of 15 to when I was 27. I get sold overnight, the next minute I’m in a city, I don’t speak the language. More importantly, I didn’t have my family.
‘Every time that we woke up we felt there was something else … we both felt at the time that we were not losing each other but drowning.’
‘I don’t know how we got through it, in all honestly. Victoria is everything to me, to see her hurt was incredibly difficult, but we’re fighters and at that time we needed to fight for each other, we needed to fight for our family.
‘And what we had was worth fighting for. There were some days that I would wake up and think, ‘How am I going to go to work? How am I going to walk on to that training pitch? How am I going to look as if nothing’s wrong?’ I felt physically sick every day when I opened my eyes, ‘How am I going to do this?’
The marital crisis prompted Mrs Beckham to relocate to Madrid, where they bought a £3million home which she says she decorated herself. She later went on to have the couple’s third son, Cruz, now 18, in the Spanish capital.
Despite the move, she admits she was not happy with leaving the UK.
She said: ‘As soon as I could get the kids in school, we then move full-time. Did I resent David? If I am being totally honest, yes I did. It was probably, if I’m being honest, the most unhappy I have ever been in my life. It wasn’t that I felt unheard because I chose to internalise a lot of it because I was always mindful of a focus that he needed.’
Mrs Beckham described their time in Madrid as a ‘nightmare’ and ‘an absolute circus’, while Beckham said the school run was ‘live on Spanish TV’.
